It’s okay not being okay

Sometimes the disappointment of not getting an audition can hit you as hard as the red wedding from Game of Thrones.
I see so many videos of people constantly trying to bring this subject into the light and somehow, it remains hidden.
Rejection is the hardest part about being an actor or in any creative career for that matter. Striving for success and trying to keep a “normal job” can be hard too but in my industry every time I go out to an audition Its not just my career but my heart is on the line. One of the first things I was taught in acting school was “as soon as you leave the room forget the character, throw the script in the bin and go have an ice cream because you have to let go”. Despite this advice I often forget to have an ice cream.

I have many friends in the acting industry and when one of us doesn’t get a role we say things like “you’ll get the next one” or “they don’t know what they’re talking about, you’re a great actor”. Truth is we don’t always fit the role, whether it be our look, the movement we bring life into the character or a million other factors only known to casting directors. To be an actor means to have thick skin otherwise you will just punish yourself, saying words along the lines of “I’m just not good enough”.It always happens to the best of us. To be an actor you need to have the softest heart to be able to portray vulnerable characters, but at the same time a hard skin to be able to accept constructive criticism, rejection or more commonly, not even hear a word about the role.

I get so close to roles but just missing out, not looking like a stereotypical Australian that we see on tv and going long periods of time between auditions. All these circumstances have gotten me down at one time or another.
I’ve had times in my life where I have second guessed myself as an actor. I constantly need to reassure myself that I love what I do. That it’s not me, that I’m not actually doing anything wrong. My struggle now is that I’m getting older, I think about whether I’m too old to be trying to make it as an actor, why don’t I have a plan B and so many other questions.

I’m constantly asked the same questions by others too. I’ve learned over the years to pay no mind to all this, that having a plan B only takes away from plan A and if I want to make it, its ultimately up to how much work I put into it. I forget that even though I didn’t get that job I’ve made contacts that could open up doors for the next job. there’s always something that comes out of every situation it’s just always about the mindset you choose to have from it.
The lows are a big part of life, going for any job is nerve racking, exciting and we all hope when all is said and done we get it but sometimes we’re scared we won’t be able to accomplish what is expected of us. For an actor we can go for multiple auditions a day and as satisfying as it is to be able to perform, we sometimes get lost in the hunger to be perfect for the role.

It’s so easy to give in and blame all the factors around me, like my look as a middle eastern guy. But I’ve grown into my own and come to the realisation that I need to create my own path. My advice would be to take care of you and stop trying to follow other paths because you know deep down where you want to be. Aspire to be on the same level as the best person you look up to in your industry. I hope like myself that you all find your own way and that you know you’re not alone out there.

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